Introduction
There are a few factors that make talking about drugs with our parents particularly difficult. For starters, there's a huge chasm between those who have had a psychedelic experience and those who haven't, and that chasm can only be crossed by taking the very substances that our parents might be so afraid of. As a result, there's an absence of empathy when talking to our parents who haven't had the experiences we have - they simply can't understand the nature of a psychedelic journey without going through one themselves. Furthermore, since most recreational drug use is still illegal, our parents may rightly feel worried that our psychedelic adventures could get us into trouble with the law, and this might trigger feelings of protectiveness and anxiety. Finally, many of our parents likely came of age during the War on Drugs and the DARE program, meaning that they've been socialized for decades into thinking that all drugs are harmful. In short, the most salient emotional response that our parents are likely to feel if/when we talk to them about drugs is fear. Fear that we could be doing harm to our bodies, our minds, and our futures.
Ultimately, this is good news, because fear can always be overcome. In fact, as knowledgeable psychonauts, we have a tremendous opportunity to dissuade our parents of the mistaken narratives that they may have about psychedelics and other substances, and instead replace them with understanding, acceptance, and maybe even a bit of curiosity. If we share our stories openly with them and do our best to speak from a place of patience and scientific expertise, their fears may eventually melt away and they'll be left with nothing to worry about. By no means will their fears be completely allayed after a single conversation - it can take months or even years for our parents to change their minds and unlearn the fears that they've held onto for so long - but the process is worthwhile. Stopping fear and spreading love is perhaps one of the clearest, most widely reported insights that many psychonauts experience on their journeys, and our parents deserve to share that insight too.
That belief applies to us too. It may be uncomfortable and scary for us to talk to our parents about using substances, but there are many compelling reasons to at least try. For one thing, if psychedelics become an important part of our lives, we’ll naturally want to share that passion with the people we are close to. Alternatively, if we choose not to share with our parents, then that could potentially lead to uncomfortable situations where we’re forced to lie to them about our behavior, and lying is no fun.
It's quite possible (and maybe even more likely than we might think) that our parents listen to us and react positively to the revelation that we use psychedelics. Even if they don't take the news well, we can take comfort and pride in the fact that we made an overture of honesty towards them. By virtue of being open and vulnerable with our parents, we subconsciously invite them to act the same way.
Of course, there are many ways to test the waters and gauge how our parents might feel about psychedelics without necessarily telling them outright that we use them. We could clothe the conversation in hypotheticals - hinting at friends who grow shrooms or colleagues who have done acid - and then suss out their responses. Are they positive and inquisitive or are they hostile and dismissive? In either case, their thoughts and feelings around psychedelics now may not be their thoughts and feelings in the future. While it can be helpful to determine the starting point of where their heads are at, remember that our parents are people, and people are always changing.
Tools and tactics for broaching the conversation
The following are some tactics to utilize when conveying our stories to parents:
